When I was a teenager, my classmates used to talk about gays all the time. They said that there were guys who were “poncy”, just like girls. There was a boy in my class who was considered poncy, and everyone mocked and ridiculed him. That's how I first found out that there were guys who liked other guys. I was curious, and I often googled “gay” and looked at different pictures. I was scared that I was one of them and that my classmates would stigmatise me, too, even though I was quite ordinary, not poncy. But thanks to the internet, I started chatting to other gay people online and understanding more about who I was.

I haven't come out. I'm scared to tell anyone about myself, to express my identity to anyone. I'm afraid that people close to me will reject me. This is something many gay people in my country face. Unfortunately, in the process of becoming conscious of my identity, I haven't had anyone around to support me.

I am a Muslim. Religion comes first for me, my heart is set on it. The important views and values of Islam for me are sympathy, loyalty, purity, love and faith, balance. I think same-sex relationships have no place in Islam, but I believe that Allah is merciful and forgiving. As a gay person, I think religion is separate from my identity, they are not related.

I think Allah made us the way we are. When I went to the mosque, I never separated myself from other people, I made a supplication, I prayed while being aware that I am a gay person. A few times I have heard some pretty bad things said about same-sex relationships in the mosque, and internally I did not accept it, I disagreed, got angry, but I could not say anything out loud. Sometimes I get scared: it seems that all Muslims disapprove of same-sex relationships and even incline other young people to “punish” LGBT people.

To me, being an LGBT person in this society means fear. Being a Muslim is a great blessing for me. I have a person I love, I can't give it up and stop being gay. At the same time, it is important for me to be a Muslim, I have not abandoned my religion, I have not given up on it.

I hope others in the LGBT community can understand that being LGBT and Muslim at the same time is not a bad thing. We, like all people on earth, can be who we are. I also hope that other LGBT Muslims will not reject their religion. It is very important for all of us to be Muslims and LGBT people at the same time, because we are not alone, there are many of us.

If you are an LGBT Muslim, please do not let fear into your hearts, believe in Allah, he is always fair and forgiving. Don't pay attention to the stereotypes that the Muslim community and others try to impose on us. Trust yourself and believe in yourself, and everything will be the way you want it to be.